Mondo Beyondo *Part Two: Welcome 2008!*

Right away there are lots of things to like about 2008. For one thing, it has the number 8 in it, which is the infinity symbol standing upright, and also 8 is the number of holidays that I celebrate (sort of). And 8 happens to be Adrien's favorite number. It has a nice, round, juicy feel to it too... two-thousand-and-eight. Lots of Os and o-sounds. Lots of feminine curves.

Continuing with the Mondo Beyondo tradition, I am supposed to name a few of my wildest, most fantastic dreams. I am also supposed to be quick and dirty about it (see entry for jan 6) so here it goes:



Dreamy things I would like to draw towards myself:


* Travel to new and unexpected places, especially Mongolia, Peru and Scandinavia


* Becoming a published author and holding my words in print, outside my head, where others can see them


* A cozy hobbit-hole of a home in BC where I can really dig my roots down deep (or maybe a tree~house! Ooooh or a vividly colourful gypsy caravan...)

* Creating that home in a place where I can build my own River Cottage-esque smallholding

* Work that allows me to expand, challenge myself, learn, be creative, feel like a contributing member of my community and participate in creating a healthier world (maybe as a librarian? or maybe something I haven't thought of yet?)

* Cultivation of the feeling that there really is ENOUGH of everything (especially money)

* One day becoming a parent

* Meet (create?) a whole pantheon of spirit-gods who are wild and fun and free

* Strenghthening connections to those I already know and love, as well as making new connections with as yet unknown kindred spirits

* Paint another mural, this time EVEN BIGGER

Particularly for 2008 I want to:

* Finish my undergrad (it really is about time)

* Start making plans for moving back to BC

* Read a book en français (I am so lazy about this and it would be so good for my vocabulary)

* Drink more water

* Despite the earthiness of 2008 (see below) I want to continue being lighter in my life, easier on myself (and others), getting rid of excess *stuff* clogging up my living space, and letting go of all kinds of "over-weighty-ness" in my life/mind/body

And so begins 2008...

It is the year of the Earth Rat. When I first started thinking about this whole Mondo Beyondo stuff I was going to maybe declare 2008 the year of WATER. But then I started poking around and discovered that it is already a decidedly Earthy year. Hey, who am I to argue with the Universe? And so I will go with the earthiness flow and declare 2008 The year of the Gnome. Gnomes are sturdy, earth-bound creatures. They are generally good-natured, cheerfull folk and they know how to appreciate the little things (um, no pun intended). They are pragmatic and un-hurried and I think they will make good role-models, especially since they do not over-complicate things which I have a detrimental tendency to do. When I encounter problems in 2008 I will simply ask myself, What Would Gnomes Do?

This is good actually. I had no idea that 2007 was a fiery year and Fire is an element that totally baffles me so it is no wonder that I felt baffled for a lot of it. Earth, that I get, so 2008 is already off to a wonderful start. Perhaps I will save all the reasons why Earth is so fitting for me in another post, but for now I will say that it feels right. In keeping with that theme 2008 is also the International Year of Planet Earth, as well as the Year of the Potato and the Year of Sanitation (check it out!). 2008 is so dirty! I mean earthy. Soil-related. Hearty. Healthy. Organic! 2008 is big and full, and grounded and earth*full. Let us all welcome a voluptious 2008!

Pictures: Rat stamp from Canada Post, the Gnome with the mouse is by Wayne Anderson and the cute earth-mouse is from Ursula Vernon's site.

Mondo Beyondo *Part One: Farewell 2007*

Although I quite enjoy transitions, I have never found New Years to be a wholy satisfactory ritual. Yes, I do like the sparkly parties, the noise-makers, the cocktails, Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve, the ball falling in Times Square, Harry finally declaring his love for Sally, and I get a lump in my throat when I hear Auld Lang Syne. But I am no party-animal and so I tend to enjoy those well-known New Years symbols from a comfortable couch with a small group of friends. (This year that small group of friends was enjoying an evening of playing Wii games, only stopping for the countdown!)
This is all good fun, however, I do tend to suffer from the post-Christmas blues (*sigh* 354 more days until next Christmas) and New Years does little to assuage the grief. I like the idea of creating/participating in rituals that help to add a little shine to the every-day, as well as marking passages of time in a meaningful way. So for that reason I am going to jump on Andrea Scher's Mondo Beyondo bandwagon.

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?
I would like to aknowledge that I faced a new decade of life with cheerful enthusiasm and eagerness, rather than clinging to the past. I am so excited to be in my 30s! : )
After a few years focused on a particular dream (to be a midwife), I have been re-discovering all those other parts of myself, things I didn't have a lot of time for in that phase of life. Stuff like painting, making jewelry, reading, writing, creating a blog. One of the bravest choices I made in 2007 was one of self-acceptance. Meaning that I have been making a conscious (and somewhat successful) attempt to not be so damn hard on myself. This came through mostly in the fall (although had been brewing for... um ever I guess) as I faced yet another semester of school and faced it imperfectly despite my insanely high expectations. As usual even when it felt like all was lost, and like I was the least prepared person in the entire university, everything wound up being totally fine. I keep finding more and more evidence to support trusting myself regardless of how it looks to the judgemental harpie who lives in my brain, and this is good news.

2. What is there to grieve about 2007?
2007 sure had its ups and downs. As I said, I celebrated my 30th birthday, so I think it quite reasonable that I grieved the end of my 20s (well "grieved" is only partly true, I was glad to see them go, those tumultuous and hectic 20s). I continued to grieve my parting of ways with a life of midwifery... that was harder than many a break up, and just as necessary. I grieved a lot for a family member (well members) who are struggling, and for the waves of grief and saddness that this struggle has sent rippling through all of us who so love them. I grieved for certain perfectionist ideals I have held for so long, both consciously and unconsciously, about my life, my partner, my "career" (whatever that is) and especially my self. I forgive myself for putting myself (and sometimes the person closest to me) under so much pressure to perform a certain way. I forgive myself for all the straining against reality and the huge expectations. I forgive myself for all the judging and defensiveness. I forgive myself for the seemingly endless procrastination and the imperfect (but complete!) work I have done. I forgive myself for not living up to the impossible!

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?
Oh 2007, you tricky monkey. Actually, it was (and still is) the year of the Fire Pig. Maybe it would have been good to know that at the time. Apparently it was also both the International Polar Year and the Year of Rumi. There are so many things I did not know about you 2007!! But now you are over and it is time to welcome a whole new year of possiblity ...

And so... "I officially declare 2007 complete!"


Coming soon:
*Part Two*
The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2008? Is it the year of joy? the year of self-care? the year of partnership? Stand up and say it proud, "2008 is my year of...."

Picture: Pig stamp from Canada Post website.

Betwixt and between

Rush rush rush... woosh! It's over. I always so look forward to the holidays and then when they are finally here, everything is so busy and rushed that it feels like they are over before they really begin! Of course half of my plans don't happen either... my Christmas cards are still sitting in my living room un-sent. (I think I will still write them up and send them as a New Year's greeting. What the heck!) I have a ball of gingerbread dough in the fridge that has yet to be baked. That homework I was going to get a head start on for next term... um ya. Not so much. My stack of library books... I've read about five pages. The house is messy and chaotic.

Soon I will have to launch myself back into the rushing and the doing - buying text books for the new semester, returning/exchanging certain gifts, trying to pick up a few necessities while they are on sale... But for the moment I want to take a breath and just enjoy the betwixt and between. That space of time between Christmas day and New Year's day. The tree is still up, the gifts are open and can be enjoyed, the fridge is plump with left-overs (we have an odd (but delicious) assortment of herbed potatoes, cake, mincemeat tarts, home-made pizza, fruit and lumpia in ours), most of the obligations have been met so you can laze about on the couch or visit unhurriedly with friends... the Big Day is over, but there is still the changing of hands from one year to the next to look forward to. If you have to work (which I do) it is usually less busy and the hours are reduced (unless you work in customer service of course, in which case, my condolences). It is a nice in between feeling, a time outside of regular time, a little yearly nook where you can cocoon yourself away before starting anew.

We are having a momentary lull in the cold weather, so all those giant heaps of snow are melting and it looks almost like spring (all the grey muddyness, none of the green shoots!). Perhaps it was the relative warmth that brought out the birds this morning, but walking to the bus I saw dozens of feathery creatures flitting and whistling.

I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December
A magical thing
And sweet to remember.

'We are nearer to Spring
Than we were in September,
'I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December.

- Oliver Herford, I Heard a Bird Sing

Photos: "Polar Sleigh" from Paper D'Art; American Tree Sparrow by Altrendo Nature photos from Getty Images.

Winter Solstice

The Shortest Day

by Susan Cooper

So the shortest day came, and the year died,
And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world
Came people singing, dancing,

To drive the dark away.

They lighted candles in the winter trees;

They hung their homes with evergreen;

They burned beseeching fires all night long

To keep the year alive,

And when the new year's sunshine blazed awake

They shouted, reveling.

Through all the frosty ages you can hear them

Echoing behind us - Listen!!

All the long echoes sing the same delight,

This shortest day,

As promise wakens in the sleeping land:

They carol, fest, give thanks,

And dearly love their friends,

And hope for peace.

And so do we, here, now,

This year and every year.

Welcome Yule!!

Photos: White candle on tree Ullamaija Hanninen (Getty Images)

Shortest day of the year

I think that Yule is officially the 22nd this year (according to wikipedia) but I am thinking Yule-ish thoughts today too.

Yule, is when the dark half of the year relinquishes to the light half. Starting the next morning at sunrise, the sun climbs just a little higher and stays a little longer in the sky each day. Known as Solstice Night, or the longest night of the year, much celebration was to be had as the ancestors awaited the rebirth of the Oak King, the Sun King, the Giver of Life that warmed the frozen Earth and made her to bear forth from seeds protected through the fall and winter in her womb. Bonfires were lit in the fields, and crops and trees were "wassailed" with toasts of spiced cider.
- Yule Lore

Photos: Red candles with snowy trees - Tom Morrison; Christmas punch by the fire - Helene Toresdotter both from Getty Images.

PS

About yesterdays (100 things) post... I have seen those kinds of lists on other people's sites and I think they are really fun to read. However, most people seem to have them as lists on the side you can link to. I couldn't figure out how to do that so I just posted it as a regular post and now it is SO LONG it takes up the whole page. lol. If anyone knows how to make it not a regular post I would appreciate the tutorial!! : )

100 things (this list didn't take as long as I thought it would...)

1. When I was little, my favorite colour was Purple
2. 2 is my favorite number... I also rather like 9
3. I think I am part snail because I like to move slowly, eat slowly, live slowly and hide away in cozy little nooks (hence Spiral Bound)
4. That said, it is totally annoying when there are slow people blocking the sidewalk
5. I have (so far) attended 5 post-secondary institutions (2 colleges and 3 universities) in 3 provinces
6. Having my hair brushed, washed or played with is pure pleasure
7. It makes me happy to read or watch holiday-themed stories/shows at Christmas, Halloween, mid-summer etc... even if they are really cheesy
8. I try to remember to celebrate (or notice/aknowledge/observe) 8 festivals throughout the year: Yule (Winter Solstice), Imbolc, Eostara (Spring Equinox), Beltane, Summer Solstice, Lammas, Mabon (Autumn Equinox) and Hallowe'en/Samhain
9. I was a vegetarian for about 9 years
10. I still don't eat much meat... and I think it best if it is local, free range or wild
11. I am one of those people who dislikes cilantro (I know, but I can't help it, it's in my genes)
12. I have lived in 12 different Canadian cities/towns
13. I love the rain, and I miss living in rainy south-western BC
14. I love biology (especially zoology) and sometimes wonder why I didn't just study that
15. When she invited me to, I almost moved to Borneo to study Orangutans with Biruté Galdikas... maybe I will still do that one day
16. I have ridden on a camel, more than one elephant and several horses
17. I have touched (and fed) a dolphin
18. I love farmer's markets
19. I love to get gooey cheese, home-made red pepper jelly and fresh bread at farmer's markets
20. Sweet, firm red apples are my favorite (royal gala) but I like the tart green ones too
21. Raspberries are my favorite fruit
22. Fruit in general seems like a kind of miraculous gift to me when I think about it
23. I am open to trying almost any kind of food at least once
24. I have moved 24 times in my life (that I can remember), the first 5 times were with my family but the rest have been since I moved out
25. I have never been to the maritime provinces but I would love to go
26. Same goes for northern Canada
27. When I was little, I wanted to be an astronaut
28. I still kind of do
29. The first food I remember really liking is black olives
30. I've been to Morocco but just for a day
31. I have one tattoo, on the back of my neck
32. Lip Balm. Not sure why, but I am obsessed
33. I love all things coconut
34. In fact I adore lots of nutty things, almonds, hazelnuts, pecans, pistachios, brazil nuts, macadamia nuts, walnuts, pinenuts, and even peanuts
35. Nut butters are great too... smooth or crunchy but all natural, no icing sugar
36. Ok, sometimes the gross icing-sugar peanut butter is good too (but just as a treat)
37. I hate baby-talk
38. I also dislike msn-isms like: how r u or cu l8r
39. I don't mind abbreviations like lol or brb though
40. I procrastinate a lot (um... yes that is what I am doing right now actually)
41. I am a bit of a geek (see next)
42. I know what 42 means
43. I have a tendency towards perfectionism (maybe related to the procrastination thing?)
44. I am right-handed but always wished I was a lefty (I always want to be what is "different")
45. I cry easily and often
46. This can be frustrating, especially if I am in a situation where I would dearly like to remain composed
47. I have started to say "frak" in place of other swear words
48. I have a crush on Jeanette Winterson
49. Cloves are my favorite spice (for smell) and I think if I ever have a daughter I would like to call her Clove
50. I have been present for the birth of more than 50 human beings
51. I have never been present for the death of a human being
52. I like that when people find out I'm from BC they assume I am a granola person
53. Actually, I like to think that Adrien and I are a bit like Dharma & Greg
54. I think I am pretty evenly spilt right brain and left brain... I love both arts/creativity and logic/science
55. I would like to become a better gardner (or be a gardner at all)
56. I love the smell of sawdust, it reminds me of my grandpa
57. I like the word "steampunk"
58. I am hard on myself, but not all the time
59. I dream big, and am often disappointed that my grand plans don't work out
60. However, I still find that I am frequently really enchanted with the small, everyday twists and quirks of life
61. I am a good mediator/peace-maker (for others)
62. I can be stubborn, argumentative and very defensive when I feel vulnerable (which is a lot)
63. I get terrible pangs of jealousy (often)
64. I am a good listener
65. I sometimes find that the opinions I argue for (or against) in the fiercest way are the ones I understand the least
66. I used to be a barista and I sometimes miss making foamy cappuccinos with those lovely, shiny steamy machines
67. I can play the flute, the trumpet and the euphonium (although it has been years since I touched any of them)
68. I am a pretty good cook and a decent baker
69. I wish I had a bigger place so I could have people over and cook for them more often
70. Pot luck dinners rock
71. I love getting & sending letters in the mail (thank you Alissa!)
72. I speak English (obviously), French and a miniscule smattering of Spanish
73. I once tried to teach myself Russian (Zdravstvuite, menia zovut Christine!) and would love to learn a zillion languages
74. I really like hands, they are usually one of the first things I notice about people (not a big fan of long or painted nails although painted toes are cute)
75. Adrien has great hands : )
76. I am mostly English, but also French and Dutch (and Canadian and American)
77. Perhaps that is why I have a fondness for all things British... especially British TV (Doctor Who, River Cottage, The Good Life, Vicar of Dibley)
78. I would love to spend some time living in the UK
79. I would love to spend some time traveling, and/or living just about anywhere on the planet
80. I enjoy a witty, sarcastic sense of humour
81. I can be a brat
82. I am a bit of a sugar-aholic and I would like to do something about it... but I am also kind of ok with it : )
83. Surprisingly though, I am not as big a fan of ice cream as one might think
84. I have a little obsessive compulsive side that I don't think many people know about
85. I used to love math, but now find it a little mind-boggling... I wonder what happened there
86. I have only one serious regret, and I have already been forgiven for it
87. I want to believe in magical things (and I sort of do) but my skeptical side often steps in to warn me not to be gullible or silly
88. I am an athiest
89. I am also pagan; kind of witchy; interested in religion/spirituality, especially Shintoism, Taoism, Buddhism and Hinduism; in awe of Life, The Universe And Everything (see 42); open, curious, confused, and certain only that no has all the answers yet
90. I read a lot of children's/young adult literature (His Dark Materials is one of my favorites)
91. I read a lot of everything
92. I am (trying to... in the process of) writing a novel. Well a series of 4 actually. It is slow going, but really enjoyable.
93. Cigarette smoke makes me feel nauseous, cranky and gives me a terrible headache
94. Pipes and some cigars though smell kind of nice
95. I sometimes have great difficulty remembering my exact age
96. Even though I now think that it is an evil, evil empire, I have fond memories of eating at McDonald's as a kid (I always had the filet-o-fish and a strawberry or vanilla milkshake)
97. I will always save big bug-creatures (spiders, centipedes, beetles) but I kill itsy-bitsy ones like fruit flies and mosquitoes
98. I don't like it when people call me "shy" even though I sometimes am
99. I am thinking of becoming a librarian
100. My favorite colour is still Purple

December Moon

Before going to bed
After a fall of snow
I look out on the field
Shining there in the moonlight
So calm, untouched and white
Snow silence fills my head
After I leave the window.

Hours later near dawn
When I look down again
The whole landscape has changed
The perfect surface gone
Criss-crossed and written on
Where the wild creatures ranged
While the moon rose and shone.

Why did my dog not bark?
Why did I hear no sound?
There on the snow-locked ground
In the tumultuous dark?

How much can come, how much can go
When the December moon is bright,
What worlds of play we'll never know
Sleeping away the cold white night
After a fall of snow.


- May Sarton, December Moon

*Even though we live practically in the city, Adrien and I have seen a fox on our street more than once!
Painting: "The Fox Dance" by Liz Wright found at Bridgeman